Fully Embracing The Threenager
There’s a trending topic that goes around and being a mom of 3, I’ve heard it quite often. It’s the “third kid” statement. Usually in relation to the fact that “by the third kid you just don’t care.”
Pacifier fell on the ground? Wipe that baby on your pants and move on. French fry as a first food? I’ll let it slide. You want to scale that entire playground 10 ft in the air? Big sister, go watch her and make sure she doesn’t fall.
Something happens to you in between that first kid and third kid. And while yes I think there’s some truth to the “you just don’t care as much.” I think there is so much more to it than that. I love my third baby just as much as my first and my second. I don’t care LESS, I actually feel like I care MORE.
Are you scratching your head? Let me help you follow. The tiny things don’t matter as much. The big things are what stick out. Does Taylor (first born) remember that I wrote down every single thing she ate for 3 months straight, or does she appreciate the fact that she was fed?
The more kids you have the more I think you realize how fleeting the moments are with them when they are tiny, so it feels easier to let go and just enjoy THEM. I care more about loving them RIGHT in the stage that they are in at the moment, because I know as soon as I blink my eyes they are going to grow and move into a new stage.
This whole topic applies to me recently as Cheyenne was helping me put up groceries the other day. She is in a FIERCELY independent stage where she wants to do ERRYTHING herself. I am a slight perfectionist and like things to be organized and tidy. Clutter makes my head spin. SO… Cheyenne wanted to help me unload the groceries. She put them all on the counter and I was good with that. She wanted to put them in the pantry next. I said let mommy help you!
NO. I do it Mom.
Ok… I’m cringing slightly inside because she’s putting the refried beans on the cereal shelf.
She was SO proud of herself though and in that moment I decided to embrace this moment and let her run with it.
I didn’t realize how much she needed that moment and how much I needed it.
Does it still make me crazy that the pantry is a mess and will I go reorganize it later? You bet it does.
Does it make her proud and feel accomplished? As soon as John walked in the door she ran to show him what she helped with.
It hasn’t come easy to let go of my perfectionism around the house. When I get stressed or anxious I clean. When I’m upset I tend to take it out on my counters. 🤣 And I tend to nitpick at my family over little messes in the house when I’m overwhelmed.
I’m working on that and it’s been a journey and lots of time spent asking the Lord to help me with patience, understanding, and to enjoy each season.
So back to where we started.
Yes third kid, while I don’t care LESS that my pantry is a mess, I care more that you were grinning ear to ear while you did it. I care that I have an 11 year old who helps me place my grocery order online, an 8 year old who muscles them all in for me, and a 3 year old who likes to sort. Each stage is unique, each with their own special perks. The reality is I only have them here with me so long. One day I’ll unload the groceries by myself, I’ll put them away all alone, and while it will be perfectly tidy, I know I will miss these sweet babes running around with me. So for today, I’ll embrace the threenager, and the big kids, and all their seasons have to throw at me. 🖤
